No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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