Umm I'm too high to move.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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