I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
