Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
