over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
