Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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