Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
