Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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