So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
