mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
