Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the day after is always just damage control
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
