I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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