I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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