yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
