Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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