is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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