like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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