she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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