so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize