I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
