yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
