Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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