Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize