so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize