Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
