You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
