we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I would fuck him just for his dog
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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