That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
