I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
