We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize