we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
