lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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