Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
