Your tits are I can't wait for
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
