thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
