Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
