Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
