new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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