Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
