Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
