So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
