There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
