I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
