Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
