Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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