Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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