What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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