They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
