I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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