Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
