Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
