11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
