how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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