My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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