Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
