well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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