Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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