great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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