I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
