i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
