he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
