Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
