wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize