The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
